8.11.2009

Terrafugia Transition©: It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a...Car???...


I remember when I was a wee tot, I always thought by the time I was a 'real' grown-up we'd for sure have flying cars...I think it's funny how nearly every generation of kids, from our parents on up, had that same belief...Anyway, it looks like perhaps I was kinda right....I introduce you to the Terrafugia 'Transition©', the world's first street legal airplane...According to the people who make this contraption, this unique front wheel drive 'vehicle' gives a pilot the opportunity to drive should he or she have inclimate weather by just folding the wings upwards...Wild and crazy and a plaything for the rich...At an estimated $194,000 to own this baby, us poor peons of the recession era will never get our hands on one...I'm just hoping to catch an up close glimpse at this awkward thing - so I can laugh at the people who were so wasteful with their money that they bought it, then subsequently cry when I go home cuz I can't have it...que sera sera...
.FIN

7.24.2009

Rebirth Issue #5: Frank Lloyd Wright x Lego...


Ok, I lied...Though this is architecture, this is not the dope architecture I promised in the post before this one...I say this because I am a dork so most people wouldn't find this nearly as interesting as I do; so I apologize...And two of the the things that I am a HUGE dork for - Frank Lloyd Wright and Lego - have joined forces to create a mini-scaled version of my absolute favorite FLW structure - Falling Water...Falling Water is one of FLW's most famous structures and its design puts modern designs to shame even though it was built in 1935...So yes, I'm excited...All my little nerdy-girl fantasies slowly come true...That is all...
.FIN

Rebirth Issue #4: Ouch if you fall...


BeautiFoul© readers know that I have an intense appreciation for innovative design and architecture...On my quest today to find some new isht, I found a few cool things (One of which will be coming up after this post) but then I paused for a HOT second on the above beauty/doozy and could not figure out whether I loved it or hated it...Here's the verdict...Ouch!...I'm clumsy and can often times be found quite inebriated (see: Scriptedlibations©) ...This staircase could quickly become a tragedy in my fuzzy, stumbling state...So thurr ya go...A sexy piece of work for someone more responsible than I...Le *sigh*...
.FIN

Rebirth Issue #3: The fuck is this isht???...


Ladies and Gents, Scallywags and Geezers...I present to you the 'Loop-In'...The world's 1,695,350,253,972 example that people have waaaay too much fucking time on their hands and rich people are suckers...Apparently this genius apparatus gives people the continuous sensation of surfing SLASH skating on, get this, THE PAVEMENT....WOO HOO!!...Sidewalk surfing FTW!!...I'm kidding of course, since I love surfing and seriously doubt any sidewalk in the world will compare to ripping a wave...Sayin...But hey, to each his own...This contraption is merely a concept for now...And I hope it stays that way...Grab a longboard and get to it!
.FIN

Rebirth Issue #2: Failing fighting writer's block...


As a writer, having writers block seems as terminal as cancer...I'm not fucking bullshitting...I've got 500,000,000,000 thoughts in my head and I'm at a loss for how to express them and how to choose which thoughts to express...It feels like I've never written a thing in my cot-damn life...And so I force myself to push out something; anything...And the below is what I come up with...A piece of shit, but it's something...I'm off to the country for a little while to hopefully get my head together because I think the city is only adding to the confusion...Wish me luck...


Turn off the stereo when you look into his eyes
Volume too loud to concentrate on two symphonies
The music in the ocean-blue of his sight is bursting my eardrums
Until I can hear only one tone
And as I raise my hand in protest of this irreconcilable difference
He purses his lips and mouths
“Doesn’t everyone deserve to be happy?”
My deaf tones yield more depth for the concerto of his existence
And he is as beautiful as I am dumb
.FIN.

7.20.2009

Rebirth issue #1: Sprite gives girl facial...

My boy Sean sent me this and damn it was right on time!...Those of you who know me personally, know that anything that involves sex is of interest to me - particularly if it is also includes blatant sexual innuendos...I'd like to thank Germany...You'll see why, after the jump...Ich Liebe Sprite!

.FIN

7.07.2009

Unemployment: The rebirth of BeautiFoul...


Back up in this bitch like WHOA!...Yep, it's been months...Ya'll probably thought I'd abandoned my little baby blog I'd birthed...Well, you'll be happy to know that I'm not a deadbeat Mama, and I've come back for my child...You see, a funny thing happened on my way to the forum - er...On my way to Corporate America...Corporate America dumped me and set me free...I have tons of time now to do the things that really interest me and this blog is one of them...So, you've been forewarned...The BeautiFoul bitch is back like crack (well, crack never really went anywhere but the rhyme fit so I rolled with it)!....Stay tuned for a bigger, better, faster, stronger, more action-packed and fun-filled blog within the next few days...Nahmean?!

.FIN

4.06.2009

Le Billionaire Champagne: Exactly...


Are we really in a recession?...Oh wait, that's right, WE'RE in a recession...But Richie Rich is getting richer...Apparently...Or else they wouldn't be making $2.5 million bottles of champagne...Dressed in fur and diamonds - yes, a bottle of champagne dressed in fur and diamonds...This champagne, made by Leon Verres, is limited to an exclusive count of 5 bottles (Though miniature versions will be made available soon - at $2,750 a pop.)...Four of the 5 have been purchased by Billionaires from Russia, China and Dubai; with the fifth bottle being auctioned off for charity after its' 'World Tour'...Yes, you read that right...The damn bottle of champagne is going on a world tour...And that's your recession special...


I'm really not sure what they're trying to sell here, but I must say, I doubt anyone is thinking about champagne...
.FIN

Rockwell by Parra: 2009 Spring Collection tees...


Bitch you breakfast...Yeah, I've been told that before...I've also been told that "it looks like I have two fat, ripe Easter hams (Sidenote: What's a ripe Easter ham?) in the back of me just fightin' for attention"...But that's neither here nor there...Ok, so you're still stuck on all that I just said...Yeah, me too...That WAS a little weird but I promise you there's a point somewhere in this post...Oh yeah, there it is...So, bitch you breakfast...There's a dope contemporary artist by the name of Parra from Paris who also goes by the name of Le Le when he does musique - er, music...'Breakfast' is his breakout hit and it features his art...Parra also has a clothing company called Rockwell and the spring T-Shirts are out to party...If you're like me and you like, over-the-top, oversexed graphics, you'll LOVE these tees...You can purchase the t-shirts and learn more about Rockwell and Parra here...


.FIN

3.24.2009

March Madness: 'Meatatarian' Edition...


Yep, that's right, I'm a 'Meatatarian'...I admit, when the 'Bacon Explosion' hit the Internet; I salivated - EXPONENTIALLY, for at least an hour...I will also admit that sites like 'This is why you're fat' make me outrageously happy, and I relish one day trying these triple bypass treats...Get over it...The sites wouldn't be featured on CNN if we weren't on to something...Meat is King right now and I think it's safe to say you're pretty lame if you don't join the in crowd and grab a burger wrapped in a pizza, covered entirely in a basket weave of bacon RIGHT NOW...I'm just sayin'...Loser...Anyway, it's March madness...In case you couldn't tell by all the gut-wrenching bracket-following to win that office pool going on around you...So let's laugh and relax for a moment...I present, March Madness: 'Meatatarian' Edition, by Paul Lukas

Bracket mania: Meat is very good

By Paul Lukas

Face it: When it comes to food, meat's the treat to eat that can't be beat. Show me someone who doesn't eat meat and I'll show you me eating that person's pork chop. And please, spare me your vegetarian moralisms -- if we weren't meant to eat animals, how come they're all made out of meat?

Vote: Best of the meats

Hungy? Good, now go show your loyalty to your meat of choice. • Click here to vote for your favorite meat
Ah, but which meat is the best meat of all? With so many meats to choose from, it can be hard to single out the champion meat, the crème de la meat, the meat de la meat. Fortunately for you, I'm here to sort the whole thing out for you. So loosen your belt and let's get started (winning teams shown in bold):



Beef Region

First Round


(1) Porterhouse steak vs. (16) Steak-umms


Steak-umms are the foundation of a good Philly cheesesteak. That's nothing to scoff at, but it can't compare to a well-marbled porterhouse. (8) Smoked brisket vs. (9) BBQ beef ribsTwo classic Texas barbecue meatstuffs in a fight to the finish! Purists will opt for the brisket, but meat is always better if you can pick it up with your hands and eat it off the bone.



(5) Rib eye steak vs. (12) London broil


If they tell you that you can eat only one more steak before you die, a bone-in rib eye is the one you want. It's also the one you want if you're going to eat steak every single day for the rest of your very long life. Trust me.



4) Filet mignon vs. (13) Hanger steak


I hate to break this to you, but filet mignon is for chumps. Flavorless and mushy (not tender -- there's a difference), it's meat for people who don't really like meat, sort of like vodka is booze for people who don't really like booze. A hanger steak, meanwhile, is 10 ounces of beefy bliss. This is like a scrappy mid-major beating up on a lazy, overconfident conference champ.



(6) New York strip steak vs. (11) Short ribs


Wanna mark yourself as a food rube? Try saying "New York strip" in New York. Nobody here uses that term (we say "shell steak"), except maybe at the local Ruth's Chris outlet, which is only for tourists and losers. But I digress. The real story is that short ribs are the bomb.



(3) T-bone steak vs. (14) Ground chuck


A T-bone is just a junior version of a porterhouse, and no self-respecting meat should ever be a junior anything. Ground chuck, on the other hand, is the basis of a great burger.



(7) Pastrami vs. (10) Corned beef


A world-class deli meat matchup! Corned beef is swell, but you can't beat a pastrami on rye with brown mustard. Wait, make it half a sandwich and a cup of soup, because man cannot live on meat alone (but don't tell anyone I said that).



(2) Standing rib roast vs. (15) Pot roast


Who doesn't love a good pot roast? Mom, if you're reading this (unlikely, since you don't know how to use a computer), I love your pot roast. But c'mon, not even the best pot roast can offer more than token resistance against a rib roast.



Second Round




(1) Porterhouse steak vs. (9) BBQ beef ribs


Remember how Fred Flintstone ordered those giant ribs that were so heavy that they tipped over his car? I'll take my beef ribs just a smidge bigger than that, please.



(5) Rib eye steak vs. (13) Hanger steak


Sorry, scrappy mid-major -- this conference champ is ready for you.



(11) Short ribs vs. (14) Ground chuck


The only problem with braised short ribs is that they're perfect for fall and winter but don't really work in the warm-weather months. A good burger, however, is good anytime.



(2) Standing rib roast vs. (7) Pastrami


There's something so primal about a massive rib roast. Pastrami, as wonderful as it is, can't compare.



Round of 16


(5) Rib eye steak vs. (9) BBQ beef ribs


The sad truth: This one went into so many overtimes that I fell asleep on the couch. But when I woke up, there was a nicely marbled rib eye waiting for me.



(2) Standing rib roast vs. (14) Ground chuck


One of the many, many great things about a rib roast is that you can use the rendered fat to make Yorkshire pudding. Another is that you get to say "rendered fat."

Regional Final


(2) Standing rib roast vs. (5) Rib eye steak


The bad news about a standing rib roast is that it's only suitable for holidays. The good news is that serving a standing rib roast basically makes any day a holiday. Even the grandest steak on the planet can't overcome that.



Pork Region



First Round




(1) Bacon vs. (16) Hog jowl


Hog jowl is very trendy right now in certain foodie circles. Bacon, meanwhile, has been trendy forever among everyone. Next!


(8) Pork chops vs. (9) Deli ham


Want to make a really good pork chop? No, I mean a really good pork chop? Start with an inch-thick chop and season it with salt and pepper. Sear it in a super-hot skillet for two minutes on one side and one minute on the other side. Then reduce the heat to low, cover the skillet, and cook for four more minutes per side. You can thank me later.



(5) Glazed ham vs. (12) Pulled pork


Glazed ham is soooooo overrated. Why put all that sugary coating on a nice piece of meat? Especially when you could have a good pulled pork sandwich instead?



(4) Roast suckling pig vs. (13) Boston butt


The funny thing about Boston butt is that it's not from the back end of the pig. It's the butt (i.e., short end) of the shoulder, which is at the front of the pig. And it's very good -- but it ain't no suckling pig.



(6) Pork tenderloin vs. (11) Scrapple


As Robbie Fulks sings in "The Scrapple Song," "Any old piece of the hog will do / The neck or the nipples or the toenails too." To my knowledge, no songs have ever been written about pork tenderloin.



(3) Crown roast of pork vs. (14) Canadian bacon


Did you know that 83 percent of the Canadian bacon consumed in this country is served on Egg McMuffins? Probably not, because I just made that up, but it sounds plausible, right? Anyway, slice me another chop off that crown roast, would you please?



(7) Prosciutto vs. (10) Cracklins


Good cracklins -- cooked pork skin, hot from the oven, a little salty and a little garlicky -- are one of life's most sublime pleasures. Good prosciutto is just good prosciutto.



(2) Spare ribs vs. (15) Baby back ribs


Quick quiz: Does the term "baby back ribs" refer to the ribs being (a) from a baby pig, or (b) small ribs? Answer: It doesn't matter, because baby back ribs suck. If you want a real rib experience, get a full slab of spare ribs and prepare for some serious bliss. (The real answer, by the way, is (b).)



Second Round




(1) Bacon vs. (8) Pork chops


Don't be embarrassed, pork chops -- there's no shame in losing to one of nature's most perfect foods.


(4) Roast suckling pig vs. (12) Pulled pork


This little piggy when straight to my plate. And if you play your cards right, maybe I'll leave a few scraps for you.


(3) Crown roast of pork vs. (11) Scrapple


If you really want to live high on the hog, use scrapple as the stuffing in the center of the crown roast -- the best of both worlds! But until that happens, the roast wins this showdown.


(2) Spare ribs vs. (10) Cracklins


Cracklins are a great snack, but spare ribs are a great reason to wake up in the morning. Cue Homer Simpson: Mmmmm, rrriiiibbbs.



Round of 16



(1) Bacon vs. (4) Roast suckling pig


Have you heard about the bacon explosion yet? Mildly intriguing, I suppose, but it seems like gilding the lily. Why turn bacon into such a production when it's already ideal on its own?


(2) Spare ribs vs. (3) Crown roast of pork


Little-known fact: Every Chinese restaurant in America is required by law to serve Chinese spare ribs with an exterior hue of Pantone 188. The ribs are also required by law to be the best thing on the entire menu. Interestingly enough, compliance is 100 percent.


Regional Final


(1) Bacon vs. (2) Spare ribs


Ask vegetarians what they miss most, and what tempts them to fall off the wagon, and most will tell you, "Bacon." There's a reason for that.





Sausage Region




First Round




(1) Bratwurst vs. (16) Bologna


Yeah, I like that Oscar Mayer song too, but let's be honest: Bologna is like boredom on a stick, only without the stick, and its primacy in our lunch pantheon is a sad commentary on life's very worth. A grilled brat, on the other hand, is what life is all about.


(8) Breakfast links vs. (9) Breakfast patties


Tricky choice here, especially since one's preference on a given morning can depend on so many variables (how much sleep you got, how hung over you might be, whether your favorite team just announced that it's going to be wearing history's most embarrassing sleeve patch for the entire 2009 season, etc.). On this particular morning, however, I say patties are sounding a bit more appealing.


(5) Italian sausage vs. (12) Merguez


I'm fond of merguez, an underrated lamb sausage that shows up in a lot of Moroccan cooking. But merguez is way too skinny to serve on a hero roll, which means it loses this matchup on that basis alone.


(4) Pepperoni vs. (13) Bangers


Bangers and mash is a quaint British dish eaten by quaint British people who wouldn't know a pepperoni pizza if it walked up to them on the Fourth of July and yelled, "In your face, Redcoats!" Not even a fair fight.


(6) Kielbasa vs. (11) Boudin


Bracket-buster alert! Unless you live down in southern Louisiana, you probably don't know about boudin, which is a shame, because those Cajuns know what they're doing when it comes to food. Take some pork scraps, some rice, some lard, maybe some crawfish, stuff it all in some sausage casings, and then give me a call when you wake up from your boudin-induced stupor. That's right, buddy, it's that good.


(3) Hot dogs vs. (14) Blood sausage


Yo, if I want a blood transfusion, I'll get in a car accident or something. Until that happens, keep that blood to yourself.


(7) Chorizo vs. (10) Andouille


We've got a multi-culti sausage grudge match here, with the Spanish chorizo barely eking out a victory over the French andouille.


(2) Salami vs. (15) Slim Jim


You realize there's almost no actual meat in a Slim Jim, right?



Second Round




(1) Bratwurst vs. (9) Breakfast patties


When are they gonna get around to putting a bratwurst illustration on the Wisconsin state flag?


(4) Pepperoni vs. (5) Italian sausage


Turns out Randall Simon isn't the only one who can beat up an Italian sausage.


(3) Hot dogs vs. (11) Boudin


Best hot dog of my life: a Kosher dog at the "O" in Pittsburgh in 1998. Love their fries, too. Only thing I can't figure out is why they bother to have salads on the menu (see the orange panel at lower left), since everyone knows salads cause cancer and hot dogs are good for you.


(2) Salami vs. (7) Chorizo


Until someone comes up with a chorizo version of this sign, salami's gonna win this matchup every time.



Round of 16




(1) Bratwurst vs. (4) Pepperoni


You know, the bratwurst song is even better than the bologna song.


(3) Hot dogs vs. Salami


Look, can you eat a salami at the ballpark? I rest my case.



Regional Final




(1) Bratwurst vs. (3) Hot dogs


OK, so I'm sort of oversimplifying here, but in many respects a brat is like a bigger, thicker, spicier better hot dog. Brats even take similar condiments. So why would you go with the smaller, blander version when you could have the bigger, tastier version? Two brats, please, with onions and mustard. Wait, make it three. And put another one on the grill, just in case.



Meatscellaneous Region



First Round




(1) Veal chops vs. (16) Deli turkey


Here's a good measure of how stupid we are as a nation: Our annual per capita veal consumption has been stuck at about 0.6 of a pound since the early 1990s. That translates to about one veal chop per person per year. Look, I eat about that much veal every week, and I'm sick of picking up the slack for all the rest of you!


(8) Chicken vs. (9) Osso bucco


I love me some good roast chicken. But I love osso bucco (braised veal shanks, an Italian classic) even more, in part because I can suck the marrow out of the bone in one big slurp. If that grosses you out, well, you probably stopped reading this bracket a long time ago anyway.


(5) Duck vs. (12) Cornish hen


I've never understood the complaint that duck has "too much fat" -- as if such a thing were even possible!


(4) Lamb chops vs. (13) Venison


I've tried really hard to like venison. The only thing I have to try hard to do with lamb chops is to keep from saying, "You gonna finish that?" to everyone else at the table.


(6) Lamb shanks vs. (11) Rabbit


When people say a particular food "tastes like chicken," it usually means they're too lazy to come up with a real description. But guess what: Rabbit really does taste like chicken. Braised lamb shanks, however, taste like heaven and a half.


(3) Chicken wings vs. (14) Turducken


I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Turducken isn't very good. It's just a freak show masquerading as a meal. Chicken wings, on the other hand, are what made Buffalo famous, yee-haw!


(7) Turkey vs. (10) Veal cutlet


Y'know, there's a reason most people make turkey only on Thanksgiving. It's bland, it's a pain to carve, it's hard to cook it without either drying out the white meat or undercooking the dark meat, and the mere sight of it makes you instinctively think of the Detroit Lions losing yet another boring, lopsided game. Gimme a veal parm hero any day of the week.


(2) Leg of lamb vs. (15) Chicken tails


Here's another secret: The best part of the chicken is the tail. Equal parts crunchy, chewy and gooey, it's like a piece of candy, except it's savory instead of sweet. It's the chicken's secret weapon, and it's right up there with any other meat in this entire tournament.



Second Round




(1) Veal chops vs. (9) Osso Bucco


One of those hard-fought contests where it's a shame anyone has to lose. The favorite holds on to win, just barely.


(4) Lamb chops vs. (5) Duck


Why are lamb chops so often described as "fist-thick"? I don't know why, but it's an appealing comparison. And as much as I love duck, it has never inspired a cool metaphor like that.

(3) Chicken wings vs. (6) Lamb shanks


Conventional wisdom holds that there are two parts of a chicken wing: the drumette and the flat. But there's a third, overlooked part: the wing tip, located at the end of the wing. Most Buffalo wing recipes inexplicably call for removing the tip, but don't remove it -- it's the best part! Crunchy and chewy, it's a serious treat. Not quite as good as a chicken tail, but close.


(10) Veal cutlet vs. (15) Chicken tails


How good are chicken tails? So good that I plan to open a chicken tail restaurant one day. It will have an open kitchen, so customers can watch the staff chopping off the tails from the chickens and contemptuously discarding the rest of the bird in the trash. The menu will consist of two items: an appetizer-sized skewer of chicken tails ($27.95) and an entrée-sized skewer of chicken tails ($49.95). The only problem is that I haven't figured out how to incorporate chicken tails into a dessert. Yet.


Round of 16


(4) Lamb chops vs. (5) Veal chops


Easter is fast approaching, which means a lot of people will be eating lamb for the first and only time of the year. A pity, really, because lamb is delicious anytime. Then again, veal is delicious too. But all other things being equal, the redder meat always wins.


(3) Chicken wings vs. (15) Chicken tails


My chicken tail restaurant, incidentally, will be called The Pope's Nose, which is slang for chicken tail. And I will give a free dinner to any card-carrying pope! Which means the pope is gonna be racking up some serious frequent flier miles commuting from Rome to Brooklyn, because there's no way he'll be able to resist the lure of a free chicken tail dinner.


Regional Final


(4) Lamb chops vs. (15) Chicken tails


I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, "He's not really gonna take this chicken tail obsession all the way to the Final Four, is he?" Darn right I am, because chicken tails are this tournament's Cinderella story. They've languished in obscurity for too long, and this is their moment, baby!


Final Four


Semifinals


Standing rib roast vs. Bratwurst


There's something appealing about a brat's workaday, lunch-pail character, especially when compared with the upper-class aura of a fancy-schmancy rib roast. So brats make for a sexy underdog here. And like a lot of sexy underdogs, they get slaughtered once the game actually starts.


Bacon vs. Chicken tails


You know, most Cinderella stories don't have happy endings.


Championship Game


Bacon vs. Standing rib roast


In your heart of hearts, you knew it would come down to the king of beef against the king of pork. Let's try this the rock-scissors-paper way: Bacon covers rib roast (mmmm, bacon-wrapped rib roast!), but rib roast squashes bacon. Or to look at it another way, bacon is a perfect food but a rib roast is a perfect meal.



Paul Lukas has written almost as much about meat as he has about sports uniforms. His collection of vintage recipe booklets with the word "meat" in the title has been exhibited at the City Reliquary in Brooklyn, and his grilled chicken smells so good that it once convinced a friend to break her 12-year run of vegetarianism (prompting the friend's husband to say, "I think you just saved our marriage"). He doesn't really think salad causes cancer, but he has his suspicions about tofu.



.FIN

3.20.2009

Louis Vuitton x Infiniti 'Essence': Bossy...


600 Horsepower...Hybrid Engine...Sexy sleek design that only Infinity could pull of in this fashion...And...Wait for it...Wait for it...............................................................................Custom Louis Vuitton luggage designed to fit perfectly in the trunk of this beautiful piece of machinery...BOSSY...'Nuff said...Peep after the jump...It's an orgasmic sexpot of a car...Seriously...



.FIN

Drake: So far Gone...


Ok, I'm on a roll this morning...A late roll, but a roll nonetheless...I say a late roll because, the mixtape I'm about to wildly encourage you to download came out quite a while ago...I've known about this artist for quite some time now through Colin Munroe, and some of you may even recognize him from Degrassi High (Yes, as in the teeny bopper show...He got shot...blah blah blah...Wheelchair kid...Forget all of that though...Shove it under your mental rug and forget about it...Put it in your pipe and smoke it?...I dunno, but this kids bad acting is NOT indicative of his rapping/singing skills)...Anyway, Drake is yet another Canadian artist who is exploding onto the scene via some really big names in the industry who have taken him under their wing (Wayne (What ever happened to Curren$y and Brisco?) and Trey Songs namely)...Don't get it twisted, this kid has ridiculous amounts of talent...He is probably one of only a handful of rapping singers (or singing rappers, what have you) that I respect for their unbridled talent (Cee-Lo and Andre 3 Stacks are 1 and 2)...With that being said, get Drake's latest mixtape 'So Far Gone'...There are so many guest artists on this that you actually want to listen to (Lykki Li, Santogold, Bun B, Lil Wayne, Trey Songs and more)...If you don't believe me, here's a few samples...These samples are subsequently my favorite songs on the mixtape...Peep...

November 18th



Houstalantavegas



Successful (Featuring Trey Songs)


.FIN

Single Ladies: Attack of the fat man...

I'm over it...Seriously...Now I am back to being plain old annoyed with Beyonce and her woman/lady/power bitch/Sasha Fierce ass...I feel better despising her...Even though, when the 'Single Ladies' video hit the internetsssssss, even I swore to learn the moves...Learn them I did not...With the exception of a hand flitter and some provocative hip gyrations and a whole lot of unsyncopated two-steps...Oh and some hurr swangin', of course...Anyway, I put aside my loathing for the thing that brought me to such a pop culture frenzy, and searched for some calamity via debacles and butchering...And find it I did...The shining, jewel-encrusted turd of the lot...And here it is...For your splendor...You're welcome...

.FIN

3.16.2009

Five Minute Poetry: 'Back'stabber


I've got my back up against this wall and I'm traveling backwards

Bravado brain bored and bored into the thought of getting back to you

Backsliding and backhanding my own backbone

Backpedaling into the backwardness that is the backstage of my bereavement

While background music attempts to cover the backfired backlash

As I back away

Backless and taken aback
.FIN

3.02.2009

Arcieri Kenessssssss: Fackeen Oresum....


You know, it's always great to find out that there are some genuine ass blokes out there in blog world that have connected with you through blogging...You know, I've gone on many rants before about how the Internet is not real and blahzay splee...But I must say, I have proven myself (minutely) wrong...Arcieri Keness is a fellow a Blogger/Writer/Artist who really has some dope music, an ill blog and an upcoming book called 'Godspeed'...If you haven't yet perused through his site, you should...On that note, I would like to send out a HUGE GIANT MASSIVE GIGANTIC ENORMOUS thank you to Kenesssssss for being fackeen oresum...

.FIN